LET’S PLAY NFL CHEERLEADER PICK ‘EM
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Kickoffs for the early games are just around the corner and I’m sure there are some degenerate gamblers out there still hemming and hawing over which teams they should wager their kid’s insulin money on. Fear not, Weed is here for you. And since picking games is as useless a pursuit as cruising the high school parking lot for dates, let’s try a more unconventional method: general cheerleader attractiveness.
That’s right. I’ll be making my picks for the afternoon games based solely on which image of a team’s cheerleader I found via Google Image Search tickles my fancy more. Why not, I say.
Note: did you know that the Chicago Bears, Cleveland Browns, Detroit Lions, Green Bay Packers, New York Giants and Pittsburgh Steelers don’t have cheerleaders? The hell? Who runs these teams? Boob-hating communists? Consequently, no picks will be made involving games with these jagoff teams. For shame.
Kansas City Chiefs at Philadelphia Eagles
Weed’s pick: Eagles
San Francisco 49ers at Minnesota Vikings
Weed’s pick: Vikings (homer call)
Tennessee Titans at New York Jets
Weed’s pick: Titans
Atlanta Falcons at New England Patriots
Weed’s pick: Falcons
Jacksonville Jaguars at Houston Texans
Weed’s pick: Jaguars
New Orleans Saints at Buffalo Bills
Weed’s pick: Saints
Miami Dolphins at San Diego Chargers
Weed’s pick: Chargers
Denver Broncos at Oakland Raiders
Weed’s pick: Broncos
Alrighty, let’s see how this little experiment goes. One caveat: if you base your bets on these picks, I’m not responsible. However, if these picks are dead-on accurate, then I get a cut. 30% should work.
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