Drink This: Red Bull Cola Is a Hell of a Drug
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Red Bull Cola has just been banned in six German states. Why? Cause it gots some of that white gurrrrl in it!
A German scientific finding that Red Bull Cola contains trace amounts of cocaine has prompted a controversy over the drink, analysts say.
The Health Institute in the German state of North Rhine Westphalia is expected this week to publish the results of a study that found 0.13 micrograms of cocaine per can of Red Bull Cola.
But some other scientists are like, “0.13 micrograms? I put more blow than that in my cereal”:
“There is no scientific basis for this ban on Red Bull Cola because the levels of cocaine found are so small,” Fritz Soergel, the head of the Institute for Biomedical and Pharmaceutical Research in the city of Nuremberg, told Time. “And it’s not even cocaine itself. According to the tests we carried out, it’s a non-active degradation product with no effect on the body.”
So, don’t get too excited: the sh*t’s not even that good. You could get higher licking dollar bills. (Probably true.)
From the TIME article:
You’d have to drink 12,000 L of Red Bull Cola for negative effects to be felt.
Actually, according to my studies, it can take drinking as few as three cans of Red Bull Cola for negative effects to be felt. Also:
Few companies in the world have authorization to trade in the [coca] leaf and most are pharmaceutical companies that perform this decocainizing process. The most prominent is New Jersey-based Stepan Chemical Company which has been reported to supply Coca-Cola with its narcotic-free derivative.
In other words, this isn’t news: Coke already has (denatured) coke in it.
Also, I hear they pee in the Red Bull.
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